The sentence that comes after this one is the truth, it has not been written for the sake of having dramatic effect, nor is it meant to have some kind of deep, meaningful value.
One day, I quite literally woke up and realised time was getting away from me. I could’ve sworn I was sixteen only yesterday, fighting my parents to let me stay out late and dreaming of the kind of person I wanted to be when I finally became an ‘adult’.
I pictured my life would be no different to what I saw on social media of young girls in their twenties brunching with friends, having complete financial independence and spending long weekends abroad every month. I pictured creating a life which was stable, filled with love and where I had made my family utterly proud. After all, they had sacrificed their own successes in the hopes that I would make something of myself. This particular aspect of my vision was non-negotiable as it was paired with a deep sense of guilt and fear that had set up a comfortable camp in the back of my mind.
The reality of my ‘adult’ life was rather different. The day I woke up trying to clench on to time, is also the day I realised my life was nowhere near what I wanted it to be when I was sixteen and longing to be a grown up. I had followed all the steps that society says we should take; I completed university, settled for the first job I was offered and trying to become accustomed to the 9-5 lifestyle. My days were filled with scanning papers, getting coffee and counting down the hours left until I could go home and binge on Netflix. I was still deep in my overdraft, most of my salary paid for my commute to and from my miserable job, and the 9-5 lifestyle meant there was no time for brunching or long weekends away. This led me to a state of deep hibernation, functioning on autopilot mode and living completely like a robot. I was questioning my values, what I wanted from life and whether I would ever reach the goals I had set for myself. I decided to quit my job and take the time I needed to figure out what I wanted. Although this gave my some sort of momentary relief, the one question that was constantly haunting me now was, ‘what will others say?’
I hate to admit that, but it’s true. At the time, the fact that others may look down on my decision or gossip about me being unemployed and not ‘having my life together’ was terrifying me. The norm was to settle for a job and work your way up. But I hated my job, and I did not want to work my way up working in an industry I was not passionate about for even a moment longer. During this period of hibernation, my battle with time intensified. As the days continued to slip through my clenched fingers, I felt like I was wasting more and more of my time and letting my sixteen year old self down.
A year later and even deeper in my twenties, I can safely say that I no longer give a flying rat’s a** what others may think, say or gossip. I have learnt that societal norms will always exist, but so will our ability to look past them and think for ourselves. Modern life is looking more and more different these days, so, if I chose to take some time to figure out my life and I knew what will bring me closer to the image I once had of myself as an adult, then I am at peace with that.
However, my battle with time continues as the self inflicted pressure of making the most of my youth before it is forever gone constantly consumes me. On one hand, I have the deep desire to make something of myself as soon as I possibly can-and that means avoiding yet another hibernation process- whilst on the other, I want to make sure I’m having fun being young and careless! I feel like there is so much I want to achieve before I’m 30 and the thought is so overwhelming that it almost paralyses me. How is it even possible to want so many things and to want them in such a short amount of time? What makes this even more terrifying, is the fact that no matter how hard you try to cling on to time, it continues to fly by.
As time continues to run away whilst I scream and chase after it, our race has taught me something. Societal norms and time go hand in hand. Even though there is no rule book that says you must achieve certain things by a certain age, or that you must ‘make the most’ of your time whilst you are young, these perceptions will always be held by those around us. They will even inhabit the back of your own mind, pushing you to analyse your every move. Am I having as much fun as I should be? Am I moving at an amicable speed to achieve all of my goals? I should go out more. I should stop spending so much time alone.
But, at the end of the day, if me spending time alone is bringing me peace in that moment and it means I am enjoying myself, then I think that is me making the most of my time. So, what I’m trying to say is this…time is always going to move at a speed we feel is faster than us. Stop trying to chase it. Stop trying to live by societal standards. If you are enjoying your life in ways that are more simple, such as reading a good book or taking time to relax alone, then you are making the most of your time.
As with most years, 2017 was filled with ups and downs, but one thing that truly sets this year apart from others is how much it taught me about life! I think a big reason for this was my turning twenty-two, as it brought with it the terrifying realisation that I am no longer even close to being a teenager. With this ghastly realisation came the motivation, and a sort of need, to seek ways to better myself and how I live life.
It was the first year in my twenty two years of life that I started to analyse my actions, habits and views on life, and actively search for improvement. More importantly, it pushed me to believe that improvements could be made to routines and views I had become so accustomed to.
Here are the 17 vital life lessons that 2017 taught me, to which I will cling onto in the new year.
1. You will fall, but getting back up is always possible, no matter how hard it seems.
I went into 2017 having hit rock bottom- and I’d hit it hard. Because of this, I spent the first few months of the year desperately trying to fight my way through a thick fog of confusion. Many breakdowns came and went, several self-help books were read and a constant stream of negative thoughts inhabited my brain. As this vicious cycle kept repeating itself, one day I decided I’d had enough and it was time to get my act together. It took a long time for that day to come, but the important thing is that it came.
Mindset is everything. This overly used statement is easy to shrug off when you feel like your whole world is collapsing. And in the midst of this collapse, where everything is crashing and burning in front of your own eyes, the hardest thing you can imagine doing is being positive. It’s easier to hide away in your room to cry and feel sorry for yourself than it is to push yourself to make a change. But 2017 taught me that no matter how utterly shit everything is, you can land on your feet again. The hardest step is telling yourself that you can do it, and actually believing it. That comes as a result of altering your mindset because mindset really is everything.
Just look at any successful person who has every achieved anything in life. Oprah did not become Oprah with a ‘I have nothing, so I will always have nothing’ mindset. I know it’s not easy. Just ask anybody that knows me and they will tell you I have always been guilty of consistently letting negative thoughts and beliefs take over my life. But the shit storm that 2017 brought with itself pushed me to listen to, and apply this overused statement to my life, and I can honestly say, it changed everything. Which brings me to my next point…
2. Thoughts really are things
Having spent most of my life believing that expecting the least from life would mean I would never be disappointed, it is no surprise that I was the most negative person I knew. Not only did it make me angry and pessimistic, but it definitely did not avoid disappointment.
I’ve banged on about it so many times on my blog, but the Law of Attraction has helped me with so so so much. It is the one and only thing that pushed me to change the way I had lived my life, by prioritising positive thoughts and making a conscious effort to not complain about frivolous things. As a result, I was able to control my anxiety, an issue that had caused many problems for me at university, and enabled me to actually allow myself enjoy life. Whether that meant being grateful for the simple things, such as a cup of coffee in the morning, or even enjoying certain blissful moments, no matter how short lived they are.
Thinking positively leads to gratitude. Gratitude leads to appreciating the little things. Appreciating the little things leads to happiness. Happiness comes in bursts, and we have to take it and treasure it at any given moment and time.
3. Having fun is underrated
I used to think that having fun meant un-productivity and any time that I found myself having fun, I would feel guilty us about the bullet points on my to do list that were not going to get ticked off as a result.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but as soon as I hit the age of twenty, I feel like life started to speed up like I had never experienced before. I could’ve sworn I was only sixteen yesterday, but I blinked and woke up at twenty-two, with a degree in my hand and being pushed into the deep end that is ‘real life’. So, life moves fast. Have as much fun as you can, enjoy the little things and allow yourself to be happy. I live by this motto now, because I do not want to wake up at 70 and wish I had experienced more than I actually did.
Image from Pexels
5. Goals need to be set regularly, not just on December 31st, just before the clock hits 12
Hitting rock bottom de-motivates you like nothing I have experienced before. It makes you shrug off your life goals and forget about them by fooling you to believe that you will never ever achieve any of them. That’s not true! As I said, you can always get back up.
What helped me the most was physically writing down my goals in a journal that I use on a consistent basis, and I don’t just mean big life goals. One of my closest friends and I have started our own tradition of writing monthly goals at the beginning of every month, and ticking them off as the days go by. Not only does this make you feel like you’re grabbing life by the collar, but it’s a daily reminder of your priorities and your vision of how you want your life to be.
Image from Pixabay
Setting regular goals transformed my unhealthy habits and routines. I used to wake up and snooze my alarm ten times before realising I had ten minutes to throw on some clothes and rush to work. I used to count down the hours at work so that I could come home. When I did finally come, I would sit and binge watch shows that portrayed the life I wished I could have, but believe there was no way I could actually have. I used to eat like I had a death wish and the most exercise I ever did was running to catch my bus in the morning with a bagel in my mouth, and my coat hanging off one arm because, yep, I got up too late.
Setting regular goals pushes you to change even the tiniest of things you want to do differently. I now wake up a lot earlier than I need to, I practically live in the gym and I find cooking and eating healthy fun (weird, right?)! It all started with small, achievable goals. First I aimed to get up ten minutes than I needed to, then twenty, and before I knew it, it turned to an hour and a half earlier! So, the moral of the story is this: set smaller goals regularly that will help you achieve the larger goal you have in your mind.
6. Time is precious. Don’t waste it watching Netflix.
Whilst binge watching Netflix will always be one of my guilty pleasures, 2017 taught me that no matter how many episodes I watched, I was never going to forget my problems. Yes, I did temporarily, because let’s be honest, is it even possible to think about something else whilst watching shows as intense and epic as The OA?! But once the binge was over, that never ending cycle I told you about would repeat itself.
Spend your time wisely! Life does not wait for you to dilly dally around. Instead of watching Netflix, pick up that hobby you’ve always wanted to pursue, start that blog, or read that book that so many people have told you is amazing!
7. Journaling is life changing
Write down everything! A goal is only an idea when kept locked up in your mind. It only begins to feel real once it is written somewhere safe. Writing my goals is the only thing that pushed me to change my unhealthy habits and routines. So, order yourself a notebook and start to journal your thoughts, ideas, gratitude lists…whatever it may be that you need to write down to motivate you or make you feel better about a shitty situation.
8. Staying in your comfort zone is boring
Yes, it’s easy to stick to what you’re comfortable with. But that way, you will never experience or learn anything new. Explore your fears! Often, they turn into new passions!
Image from Pexels
9. Meditation does not make you a weirdo
If like me, you’ve experienced anxiety in the past or are an overly stressed person, I can not recommend meditation enough! Taking two minutes out of your day to gather your thoughts and calm your racing heart does not make you a weirdo!
10. Good friends are angels. Keep them close. Always.
The shit storm that was 2016 meant I had no energy to spend time with, or even talk to friends who I loved so much! But, 2017 was all about pushing myself to leave my comfort zone and achieve even the smallest of victories. As someone who has always been guilty of bailing on plans, I made a conscious effort to follow through this year, and it was the best thing I have done!
Good friends really are angels. You know, the ones who let you call them no matter what time of day, who let you cry your heart out at the stupidest of problems and who make you laugh so hard you begin to worry whether you’ll ever actually be able to stop laughing! Those friends can make you forget about your deepest darkest worries. So, I am going into 2018 vowing that I will not bail on plans, in fact, I will actively contribute to making them.
Image from Pexels
12. Change is only brought about through positivity and not through stress
This was the hardest thing for me to grasp. Having lived my whole life thinking I could only achieve things through stressing, fussing and self-discipline, it was hard for me to see how positivity could ever achieve any successful outcomes. The truth is, stress can be a motivator at times, but too often, it worries you so much that it fogs your mind and prevents you from being able to think of the most logical, effective and practical way of solving a problem.
The best way of thinking about it for me is by comparing it to running on the treadmill. Weird, I know, but hear me out. I despise running. Whenever I first step on the treadmill and press that ‘go’ button I catch myself huffing and puffing at what I’m about to do to myself. I try to talk myself out of running, but I could just go on the rowing machine, I could just walk on incline, I could just go on a long walk. But then I increase the speed and begin to do HIIT training. The first two minutes are spent battling these thoughts and telling them to shut up. Ten minutes in, the thought of completing a twenty minute session seems absolutely impossible. But you just keep going, and before you know it, you’ve completed the session, burnt over 200 calories and your endorphins are bouncing off making you feel absolutely invincible. So, just put your head down and do what needs to be done and before you know it, you have fixed the problem you spent so long obsessing over.
Don’t stress. Just do.
13. Exercise is a bitch, but it just feels so good
My love and hate relationship with exercise was truly tested in 2017. I hate exercise. It’s painful, it’s messy and it means you have to wash your hair way more often than my hairdresser recommends. BUT, exercise makes you feel like you’re capable of anything. Reaching the end of a circuit, your heart pounding in your chest and looking like you’ve just been dipped into a pool head first is gross, but you are doing something that is just for you.
Exercise allows you to gain clarity of mind. After all, you need to focus on counting your sets and reps, and making sure your timing is spot on. And do you know what, it feels damn good to care about and want to look after yourself.
Image from Pexel
14. Comparison is bad for the soul.
It’s easy to analyse your achievements by looking at others of a similar age or background to you. It’s even easier to beat yourself up because you believe that they are doing better than you. However, all this really does is de-motivate you, because it goes against the idea of being positive and believing you can achieve anything.
Everyone has a different path, different goals and different needs. Our timings are all different. Don’t look back to see how someone else is running their race, when your finish line is actually just a few steps in front of you. Focus on you!
Image from Pexels
15. Motivational speeches teach you so much
Ted talks, speeches and quotes. They will push you to set goals and seek to achieve things you never knew you wanted to in the first place. Wake up in the morning and aim to listen to or read something inspirational that will inspire you and make you believe you can do anything.
16. Don’t dwell on the small things
We are fortunate enough to live in a world where the tiniest of things annoy us. Stuck in a warm car in traffic, when it’s pouring outside…yes, you are running late, but at least you’re warm and dry. Your phone’s laggy, your boss threw a one liner at you, you made a spelling mistake at work…these things happen! Dwelling on them just prevent us from enjoying the good things that actually did happen that day.
Life is short! We don’t know how long we have and we need to make every single moment count. In 2017 I vowed to myself to just let the annoying little things that happen go, and it feels so good to give that attention to the happy things that happened that day, no matter how small.
17. You already are all that you want to be
It sounds cringe. Everyone has a picture in their mind of who they want to be! Too often I hear people wish and dream about who they wish they could be. It is good to envision your dream life as long as you change your habits to work towards making that vision come to life.
The fact that you are even wishing you could be a certain way means that person is already in you, you just need to make a conscious effort to allow that person to come out and basically just smash life.
This is, by far, one of the hardest topics for me to write about, but it is also one of the most important! The topic itself terrifies me. Just thinking about the word, ‘anxiety’ makes me feel as though a tornado of uneasiness, fear and pure panic is about to hit my 5 foot 2 body and knock me out. My palms being to sweat, my chest feels tight, I feel like I have to fight for breath, my heart is racing and feels heavy in my chest, so many thoughts are circling around my head, making me truly notice the weight of it on my neck. And the worst part, all this is happening and I physically cannot make it stop. The whole thing is so terrifying that all I can do is cry and pray that it passes.
I suffered from this feeling at least once a day for a year. Once that horrific rush eventually came to an end, I would feel embarrassed and ashamed to even speak about it. Mental health is a topic that is so misunderstood in today’s society, due to the label attached to it. The words ‘mental health’ (unnecessarily) scares many people, and I was one of them. I will never forget the sense of shame I would feel whenever a friend would suggest that maybe I was suffering from anxiety. Me? Not possible. I don’t believe in anxiety.
Growing up in a Middle Eastern family, the issue of anxiety, depression or anything along those lines was looked upon as a myth. Just an excuse people use to get out of things. Of course, not every Middle Eastern family thinks this way, but mine certainly did. I don’t blame them. Growing up in the Middle East meant having to fight for every single thing you had in life no matter what mental state you were in. In a culture where ‘what will people think?’ is one of the most common questions fretted over at the dinner table, you can sort of understand why issues like this were brushed under the carpet.
My family’s inability to understand the state I was in was agonising (for lack of a better word). I would call home crying, still in bed at 12pm, scared to leave my uni room and I would get told to get my act together. I was trying. I was trying so hard, but I physically couldn’t. The thing with anxiety is, it is so difficult to put into words. The best way I can describe my utter inability to ‘get my act together’ is by trying to explain how I felt.
Opening my eyes in the morning, the first thing I would notice was my heart pounding against my chest at a speed that made me think I was about to have a heart attack. Then, a stampede of thoughts would rush in my head, listing all the deadlines I had, worrying about the future, even worrying over menial things, ‘did I turn the straighteners off?’, ‘did I clean my dishes from last night?’, ‘my housemates must think I’m so rude for always being in my room’, the list goes on. How strange! I felt like I could possibly be having a heart attack, yet my main concern was what others will think! It seems so silly now looking back.
If you still are having trouble understanding how anxiety feels, I found a metaphor online which explains it perfectly (in my opinion). ‘Anxiety is like swimming in the ocean with no land insight.’ Imagine the utter fear and panic you would feel if you were in that situation. You feel completely alone, have no clue what’s going to happen next and have absolutely no hope. That’s anxiety.
Anyway, now let’s get to the good bit…
Overcoming Anxiety
Hypnotherapists, several doctors appointments, medicine for heart palpitations, talking about how I felt…I tried it all. Whilst hypnotherapy taught me to calm down and relax, and heart medicine made the pacing heart I woke up with every morning slightly slow down (the one time that I was brave enough to take it) nothing really helped me get away from this feeling like reading did!
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I’ve recommended books that helped me in previous blogposts, but the main thing that truly helped me was reading The Secret. For those familiar with the book, or the documentary, you know this book is about the Law Of Attraction. In short, it states what you think, you attract. Your thoughts are a magnet which bring you the situations you face in life. I know that the topic is extremely controversial, but nothing helped me overcome my anxiety like becoming familiar with the Law Of Attraction did. Whilst I didn’t constantly beg the universe to take my anxiety away, I really learnt to monitor my thoughts and be grateful for the things that I already had in my life. It made me realise the awful way I was talking to myself, the lack of belief I had in myself and how overly negative my view on life was. Thinking about it, the concept of giving more attention and weight to positive thoughts than negative thoughts sort of relates to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, a method commonly used to treat depression and anxiety.
The more I practised being positive, the more often I woke up without feeling like my heart was about to escape my chest. I was able to finally have some mental clarity, and not beat myself up every time a panic attack came and passed. Of course, anxiety is something that comes and goes, much like depression, and there is so much more to it than just learning to monitor your thoughts. But out of all the things I tried, reading about the Law Of Attraction is something I truly connected with. It did not involve hourly rates, taking pills or talking to a stranger about how I felt. It taught me to be ballsy and choose to be happy (as cringey as that may sound).
There are still times where I feel anxious, but I would say this is now only about four/five times a year, as appose to every single day. Also, the Law of Attraction’s focus on meditation and self-care has helped me manage this feeling anytime it comes back. So, if you haven’t read about the Law of Attraction, all you have to do is google it- cheap and easy!
Accepting Anxiety and Becoming Unapologetic for it
This was the hardest thing for me. I did not want to carry the label of ‘mental health,’ and the stigma attached to it, around with me. I would deny having it to friends, avoid talking about it to family and definitely did not want anyone I was trying to impress knowing about it. But the truth is, more people are suffering from anxiety than you know. When I finally learnt to talk about it, I found out so many of my close friends were also going through the same thing, we were just all too ashamed to talk about it.
Anxiety is common. Maybe even as common as the common cold. But it definitely is not as easy to understand or as widely accepted as the common cold. If you are suffering from this, know that you don’t have to feel this way forever, and there is no reason to feel ashamed as it is a common problem that can be overcome. But in order for this to happen, you first need to accept it.
We hear it in movies, read it in books and learn about it in school…the way you are raised ultimately affects who you become as an adult. Often, the values your parents live by become your own, the stories of their past become your guide to the confusing puzzle that is life and the advice they offer as you grow up acts as a comfort through the hardest obstacles thrown at you. I am so grateful for the way my parents raised me as well as the amazing values they taught me, but inevitably, the world changes so quickly that a lot of the advice that helped keep you alive whilst growing up becomes difficult to use in a world where social media seems to dictate your life.
Here are a few pieces of advice given to me growing up that I wish I had not lived by.
Life is hard
The three words I heard most often growing up were the above. In fact, I still hear them now whenever I am complaining or annoyed about something trivial. Whilst these words hold validity, I think one of the biggest mistakes I have made in my 22 years of life has been living by this motto. I believed in these words so strongly that I started to think struggling meant I was doing something right, when I was actually just making myself feel unhappy by only focusing on the bad. Living by these three words which constantly haunted me prevented me from getting the most out of my university experience and stopped me from taking part in activities I truly enjoyed because I stupidly felt that if I was not finding life difficult I was doing something wrong, and inevitably, this would mean I would not succeed to reach my goals.
Having been in ‘the real world’ for about a year now, I have learnt that life is only as hard as you make it. No matter what situation you are in and how you are feeling, you can either exacerbate or minimise those feelings depending on how you think and the actions you decide to take. If you are in a shit situation, or in a place in your life where you feel that everything is falling apart and nothing is going to plan, if you dwell on how hard life supposedly is, you are more likely to become stuck in that exact position rather than gathering your mental strength to figure a way out of there. Trust me, I made this mistake so many times that I got sucked into months of endless anxiety and depression.
Now, I’m not saying you need to start doing yoga everyday, eat vegan, go on relaxation getaways or become a buddhist overnight, but it is important to try and change the way you think. As I’ve said in previous blogposts, your thoughts are everything. By trying to focus on the thoughts that feel better, you will feel better, and as a result, life won’t feel so hard anymore. Reading books by Esther and Jerry Hicks and Rhonda Byrne made me realise that life, actually, is not supposed to be hard. Life is supposed to be enjoyable and the bumps in the road are just lessons that strengthen you in the long run.
Dreams are just that…a figure of your imagination
Being from a country that is not socio-economically prosperous meant every single member of my family and relatives held the view that dreams will never come true. Practicality always trumped dreams and hopes that one had as a child. Finding a job that fed your children, kept a roof over your head and ultimately ensured survival became the end goal in life and rightly so.
But, having the amazing opportunity of growing up in a free country, I have only come to terms with the fact that dreams actually have a good chance of coming true, if you have the drive to work for what you want. I wish I had this belief sooner because I would have made so many different choices and I would have actually believed in myself.
A good university + a good degree = eternal happiness
Whilst this attitude would be entirely relevant and true ten years ago, I really don’t see this as the case now. There are so many opportunities out there for people who don’t see university as a path for them. There are now so many apprenticeships and programs that actually pay for you to do a qualification that would not be available to you if you have a degree!
We are now living in an age where, unless you want to work a few education specific jobs, the subject of your degree does not matter. Many graduate schemes just want you to have a degree, no matter what field it is in, as long as you can prove you have a passion for the field you are applying to. Had I known this, boy would I have made SO many different decisions.
When asked how I am, there are two words that consistently come to my mind; ‘stressed’ and ‘anxious’. Ninety nine percent of the time I bite my tongue, as I am desperately trying to get myself out of this constant state of unease. Yet, whenever I talk to close friends (usually after a glass of wine, when the truth begins to come out) I realise that I am not alone in feeling this way. Why do most young people in 2017 suffer from this state of unease when we are one of the most educated generations in Britain? Surely, our high levels of education should mean that we work good jobs, earn decent money and are starting to build the great future our parents desperately tried to sell to us, as they encouraged us to spend endless nights in the library.
The small number of us who are actually enjoying their jobs are still constantly assessing every aspect of their lives against those around them. ‘Why does he make more money than me?’ ‘How can he afford to pay more rent?’ ‘How does he manage to have such a good social life whist working full time?’ ‘Her boss seems so much nicer than mine.’ ‘I wish I had her drive, because she’s changed jobs twice already and she’s doing so well’…you get the idea. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why are we never happy with the path we have chosen to take? A number of the people I know, including myself, are already stressing about when they will have their dream position, when they only graduated last year.
We all hold the harrowing misconception that we must conform to society’s standards and achieve certain things, by a certain age. We analyse those around us and instead of being happy for them, we activate the green eyed monster inside us and evaluate what they did to get to where they are and how WE can exceed their achievements.
Our generation, more than any other before us, continues to analyse their worth by what their CV, their grades and their job title says about them. We are so obsessed with learning to recite the values of companies we apply for in an interview, that we forget our own. The pressure cooker that we put ourselves in is overheating and we are beginning to lose sight of what it is that we actually want for ourselves rather than what those around us are achieving, or what limitations companies we work for put in front of us.
Of course, our constant need to see what others are doing with their life via social media only heightens the problem. The beautifully edited images of other young people twirling around at a tourist destination halfway across the globe begins to haunt us. It tells us our life should also be that perfect. Or we see a Snapchat story of that girl who has always had her shit together, on her lunch break in a beautiful London office with sunnies on and wearing a smile, telling us how much she loves her life, making us analyse and evaluate our life against hers, question our worth and sending us right back to square one.
It is easier said than done, like most things in life, but we need to realise that there is so much more to us than the job we work in, the degree we studied and the grades we achieved in school. We hate to admit it, but most people our age are completely and utterly lost. It has become so hard to get a good graduate job that most people just take what they can get and try to convince themselves that’s what they want, meanwhile losing sight of what dreams they had for themselves before the thunderstorm that is adulting hit. This concept of ‘adulting’ is a problem in itself, because it tells us that we must work in a job after graduating, complain about that job, and occasionally go out and get wasted, trying to forget that nothing has turned out as we planned, and the fact that we will never be a princess, or fireman, or whatever it was you said you wanted to be when you were little.
As someone who has consistently conformed to society’s expectations, I am putting my foot down and refusing to continue. I’ve come to the conclusion that I only have one life, and I want to spend it doing something I absolutely love rather than doing what would make my parents happy or what will look good on my CV. I have already done that, and it made me miserable. I am making a pact with myself, and whoever is reading this, to stop comparing my path to those around me because we all have different goals and what I want out of life and my career goals might be someone else’s worst nightmare. I’m also refusing to settle. Yes, I don’t have the best grades, or the best CV, but that does not mean I have to settle for whatever job is offered to me. I like to believe that life is worth more than that and I am going to write down my goals, and see what path I need to take to achieve them from there.
The moral of the story is this: conforming to society’s standards won’t make you happy and neither will comparing your path to those around you. So instead, put that energy into figuring out your own goals and ways of getting there.
Nia's Notes 